The Squall
Dexter HS
1st Place
Division 3, News Writing
In-Depth Feature
It was impossible for her to drown out the cries of her sisters, and the sound of her dad’s releasing temper.
As she watched her two older sisters return from the garage, covered in bruises, she sat in fear knowing that it was her turn to be beaten.
This has become a normal occurrence for an anonymous student at DHS, to whom we will refer to as “Jill”.
Jill has been experiencing domestic violence for as long as she can remember.
As I grew up, my dad had anger management problems and difficulty handling alcohol,” Jill said. “He would get drunk and would take my sisters and I into the garage one by one to beat us.”
According to safehorizon.org, more than 3 million children in the U.S witness domestic violence in their home each year, and survivors of domestic violence face high rates of depression, anxiety, and other emotional distress.
Jill has been living with this emotional distress for almost her entire life.
“He [Jill’s father] has led me to deal with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts,” Jill said. “Everybody in my family has depression because of him, and everybody is suicidal because of him.”
The domestic violence that Jill faced didn’t just affect her home life; it carried into her school work as well.
“I could never do my homework,” Jill said. “My parents came home fighting everyday, so I was never able to do my assignments. I was always too depressed to do my homework, or even focus in class.”
Along with her school work, her school life in general was also greatly affected.
“I used to get made fun of for the clothes that I wore,” Jill said. “I always had to wear long sleeves and long pants to cover up all of my bruises and cuts.”
Though she has faced this endless abuse throughout her entire life, Jill has never asked for help.
“I kind of just got used to it,” Jill said. “I would never tell on my dad. I love him.”
Not reporting abuse is very common for victims of domestic violence. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, domes-tic violence is one of the most underreported crimes. Only approximately one-quarter of all physical assaults against females are reported to the police because those affected are scared of hurting their abuser.
Though Jill, nor any of her sisters have ever reported their father out of love, that does not stop them from living a life in fear.
“I have always just been so scared,” Jill said. “After I watched my dad choke my sister and break a mirror over her head, my view on him changed much more than I thought it would. I have never seen him the same way since.”
Jill’s father, however, is apathetic to how his daughters view him.
“He is the reason that I have depression, and he doesn’t care,” Jill said. “I don’t think people, including him, realize how badly [the abuse] hurts a child and affects them.”
The violence at Jill’s home has decreased substantially in the past few years, and Jill and her sisters are now capable of fighting back when the abuse does occur.
“Me and my sisters know that we can stand up to him now and call the police,” Jill said.
They recognize the power that they can have against their father. However, like most victims, the domestic violence that Jill has experienced ever since she was a child is something that she believes will haunt her for the rest of her life.
“It’s never going to go away,” she said. “It has scarred me emotionally, mentally, and physically, and it is something that I will never recover from.”
Counselor’s point of view
Dexter High School counselor of 15 years, Gerry Holmes, has seen it all. She has dealt with cases ranging from school scheduling conflicts to personal student issues, and domestic violence is nothing unfamiliar to her.
“We certainly have students here at DHS who have been abused by their parents” Holmes said. “I probably file cases like these about three times a year.”
Though this type of abuse is rare, when it does occur, the Dexter counselors have a strict policy that they must attend to.
“If a student comes to us and says that they’ve been beat up at home, we’ll look for marks, ask questions, and more than likely call Child Protective Services to determine if an investigation needs to begin” said Holmes.
Child abuse accounts do happen on occasion, however, Holmes deals with many more cases of parents physically fighting each other in students’ homes. She recognizes that though this type of domestic violence is much more common, as a school counselor she is very confined in ways she can help.
“If their parents are fighting in a physical way, we can only give the students advice about calling the authorities or refer them to do things, we can’t tell that person that they are required to do anything.”
Though Holmes believes that it is important for students to talk with professional counselors rather than just their friends, she still feels that as a school resource she is somewhat limited.
“There’s nothing we can do as professionals to stop a man and wife from these domestic situations” she said.
As a professional, Holmes is limited in what she can tell students in how to react to violence at home, but she does have many opinions about why students experience these situations and what to do.
“Students often feel as if it is their fault in some way and usually feel very powerless” said Holmes. “I try to tell students that they can’t be the sole reason for people fighting in the household. It has to go deeper than that.”
When dealing with domestic violence between parents, Holmes says that calling the police is one of the best things a student can do.
“Get to someone’s house you can feel safe in.” said Holmes. “And don’t be afraid to call the police.”
Holmes, along with many professionals who study domestic violence, have noticed a worsening trend in the last couple of years regarding abusive situations.
“There’s too much domestic violence going on in society today” Holmes said.
“There has even been an escalation in these situations in the past few years. A lot of times it’s external or mental health issues that cause these situations, but there’s so many stressors out there: economic situations, loss of jobs, depression in families, and more.”
Counselor’s point of view