1st Place, Personal Narrative
2022-23, Division 4, News Writing
By Emmy Chung
The Communicator Magazine
Ann Arbor Community HS
I always loved playing dress up with my sister when I was younger. We
would put on different princess dresses with matching plastic heels and headbands just
to feel fancy and walk around the house. Even now, trying on new clothes that I buy makes me excited…
Mixing and matching different tops and sweaters with various styles of jeans or shorts to make an outfit gives me a sense of satisfaction that can only be reached by actually try- ing them on.
When I was fourteen, things started to change. The excitement no longer came after trying on the outfits but rather faded when I saw what I looked like in the mirror. It felt devastating when I wanted to rip those clothes off my body.
It’s difficult to empathize with people whose illness or pain isn’t visible. There is a certain middle ground when you’re talking with people who have a sports injury or a cold because the solutions are often straightforward. Ice, elevate and rest if you’re swollen. Go to the doctor if you’re sick, you might have the flu. Mental illnesses are different; it’s hard to grasp how another person is feeling when they’re experiencing something that can’t be fully understood.
I didn’t just wake up one day hating the way that I looked. It was the accumulation of opinions on social media that rooted these ideas into my brain. I scrolled through TikTok and Instagram looking at posts from creators. I watched “what I eat in a day” and other health-related videos for hours on end. Soon my explore page catered to my “interests.” The only content I saw was about getting skinny and fit. My impressionable mind absorbed what the world produced. At the time, I didn’t understand just how much it was swallowing me whole.
As quarantine came in the beginning months of 2020, I became utterly consumed in the body I was stuck with every day. I had so much time to myself and I needed somewhere to direct it. I could no longer stand the feel- ings of shame and disappointment, so I channeled them into feelings of hatred. Day by day, I gathered more resentment towards my appearance. I chased an idealistic version of myself for eight months straight.
Someone once told me that having an eating disorder isn’t a “dumb person’s problem.” You have to be extremely calculated and methodical to become so deeply buried in something that can’t be attained. It’s like putting all your focus in playing a game that you can never win. But I don’t think having an eating disorder came from me being smart, I think it was me being naive.
I no longer wanted to sit in my house all day and bake, do puzzles or watch TV. I began running away from my house and my problems. Five miles on Monday, seven the next day. I even ran a half marathon, fully driven by my mental state. I ran so far and so fast that even when I tried to turn around, I couldn’t see myself anymore. I didn’t recognize who I was.
I would’ve said I was fine, but everyone in my life knew that wasn’t true. My family gave me a reality check, pushing me into recovery. Something I think about everyday is that if no one had stopped me, I would’ve kept going.
The road to recovery wasn’t linear. Each day, I had to choose to break habits that I had built for months and months. The hardest part was quieting the voice inside of me who was so used to controlling me.
It’s been almost two years since I was in that state. It’s difficult for me to look back and remember the details of it because everything blurs together, all I can see is someone who hated herself. I’m not proud of it, but I’m okay with it. I will never be the same person as I was before all of this but I am able to know myself better now, and I think that’s worth something.
NW-14. Personal Narrative
This is not an opinion piece. It is a first-person account of an event or series of events that constitute a single, profound experience. The focus of the piece is on narrative — telling the story of the experience. It can be written in present or past tense. The author should take extra efforts to describe the journey and explain its importance. Dialogue and internal dialogue are essential. Submit a PDF of the print page(s) on which the story was published or the URL to the story on an online news site.
JUDGING CRITERIA
- A first-person account depicting a personal experience
- Lead captures attention, arouses curiosity
- Topic relevant to interests and/or welfare of school or students
- Effectively combines basics of good news and feature writing
- Effectively organized with smooth transitions; carefully outlined
- Sentences, paragraphs of varied length; written clearly, concisely and vividly
- Proper diction/grammar
- Should have byline, which could include mug shot of writer