By Imani Roberson
Scriptor
Wylie E Groves HS
1st Place
Division 3, News Writing
Diversity Coverage
Senior Elle Callahan was sitting in the hallway, when she experienced something she never expected to happen in the hallways of Groves. Callahan was wearing more makeup than usual that day. A random student walking down the hallway came and sat next to Callahan. What seemed like the start of a conversation, quickly changed
when the boy pulled out his phone to take a selfie with Callahan. As he walked away, through laughs, he said, “You look disgusting.”
This is just one example of bullying Callahan has faced because of the way she identifies. Callahan is non-binary, but transfeminine, meaning that Callahan is not a trans woman but feels feminine at times.
Many people are familiar with the term transgender, but transgender is the umbrella term for many different identities. Those who identify as non-binary do not feel exclusively feminine or masculine. Gender fluid individuals generally flow along the spectrum of gender. A gender fluid student might feel more masculine one day, more feminine the other, or somewhere in between. Trans women were assigned as a male at birth but identify as female. Trans men were assigned female at birth, but identify as male. This is a small portion of the variety of gender identities within our school.
With little gender education, trans students must overcome challenges the average student does not face. One of the biggest challenge for trans students is having their identity disrespected and disregarded.
Senior Zu Weinger is a demi boy, meaning that he identifies as male, but not wholly. Weinger is often called his birth name by his teachers, and this creates an uncomfortable situation for him in the classroom.
“There are a lot of teachers who still call me by my birthname. It’s just kind of weird. I don’t really know how to describe it, but it feels so much better when people use the right name and pronouns,” Weinger said. “When you talk with people who use the wrong name and pronouns, it just feels different; it doesn’t necessarily feel awful, but it doesn’t feel as good as it would if they did use the right name and pronouns.”
Often times, teachers use the wrong pronouns because they are unaware. Principal Cathy Hurley offers a solution to combat misunderstanding.
“If the student has gone through and officially changed their name, then we can change their name in our records and then it’s easy for anyone to see the name change,”Hurley said. “If not, I think they just have to speak with their teacher, if they’re uncomfortable speaking with a teacher themselves I think they should talk to their counselor, and then have the counselor interface with the teacher for them.”
Callahan agrees that at many times, people are not aware of her pronouns, but she’s found teachers in the school that are and respect them.
“There’s a couple teachers that I told my preferred name and my pronouns to. They’re just like ‘oh okay’ and they use those from now on,” Callahan said.
Senior Mytae Wilds is gender fluid, but often presents as feminine. Her pronouns are she/her or zay/zear. Though Wilds goes by her birth name, she can sympathize with Weinger and Callahan.
“My name is really hard to pronounce for most people for some reason. This happens to a lot of people with complicated names. I get my name mispronounced on a daily basis, so I can only imagine what it’s like to have someone get your whole name wrong and entire identity wrong daily. It’s painful, and it feels like they’re erasing who you are,” Wilds said.
Freshman Luke Bagdon is gender fluid, similar to Wilds, but Bagdon leans towards the agender or boy side of the spectrum. Bagdon often struggles with misgendering as well.
“Online, people say they’re going to use the right pronoun for me, but suddenly we’re in front of other people and they use she. ‘Her flashdrive.’ ‘She’s going to the bathroom.’ ‘Her phone,’” Bagdon said.
To avoid misgendering, Bagdon has to come out to nearly everyone he meets, including parents of friends whom he recently met, and even the person bagging groceries at the grocery store.
“Every new person I meet, I think ‘when am I going to tell them my pronouns? When am I going to tell them that I don’t use feminine titling? When am I going to tell them that I do not identify as cis?’ Because everyone takes you as cis until you say otherwise,” Bagdon said.
Bagdon received a mostly supportive response from his friends when he came out in the 8th grade, but when Bagdon came out to his parents, he didn’t receive the response that he hoped for.
“When I came out, it was like I was taking the first step and then someone pushed me down a hill. I came out to my art teacher, and he told my assistant principal. My middle school principal called my parents. My mom called my dad, and then I’m suddenly in a room, discussing what’s going on with my life, which was terrifying,” Bagdon said.
Coming out to peers can also be difficult because many times, they simply do not understand. Callahan understands the hurt that accompanies not being accepted.
“Sometimes I’ll tell people my pronouns and they’ll just kind of blow it off. And they’ll say ‘Well I’m going to make a lot of mistakes’ or ‘I’ll mess it up a bunch of times” which is not something you really want to hear,” Callahan said.
Hurley believes that the best way to deal with this, is to bring it to the attention of the office staff.
“I think if they’re really struggling with a peer group not respecting how they identify, they should bring in their peers and sit down with a counselor and have a facilitated discussion on why this is important,” Hurley said.
Trans students face bullying and misgendering, but they also face obstacles that other students don’t have to worry about. For some trans students, going to the bathroom is the worst time of the day. Many trans students don’t utilize the bathroom that is representative of how they identify; they use the bathroom where they know they will be safest and cause the least amount of discomfort for others.
“It’s really frustrating for trans people, especially trans people who haven’t transitioned, to go into the bathroom where it would be most socially correct for them. They feel really awkward because that’s not where they belong,” Weinger said.
Weinger has, at times, avoided using the women and men restrooms all together and to utilize the handicap restrooms. Many of the handicap bathrooms are locked, forcing him into making the decision to either hold it, or go into either the boys or the girls bathroom.
“It’s very frustrating, because I once knew a trans boy who went to Groves, and he actually got an infection because he couldn’t go to the bathroom all day. So, it’s frustrating, because I don’t want to get an infection as well, but I also don’t want to be uncomfortable and I don’t want to make other people uncomfortable,” Weinger said.
The two handicap bathrooms near the science wing, athletics, and the auditorium are supposed to open for the use of students, but often times many of them are not. Hurley explains why this has become an issue.
“We have custodial staff changing, so it’s a matter of reminding the custodial staff to keep these bathrooms unlocked,” Hurley said.
Weinger looks forward to more such accommodations for students needing this privacy, but did not look forward to what is usually an exciting time for most students: applying for college. The application can be more difficult for trans students who must answer questions about gender that don’t cater to the trans community. Some colleges are taking steps to make their applications more user friendly for trans applicants. On September 17th, Weinger logged into the common app to complete his Columbia Chicago application. Suddenly, he stumbled upon the gender/identity section of the app, and due to his past experience, immediately uttered, “Oh God, here we go.” He gathered the courage to click on the section. Weinger was pleasantly surprised when the application asked for preferred names and pronouns, and the options for pronouns were limitless. Weinger was accepted to Columbia Chicago, and plans on attending there because of that section on the application.
Caitlyn Jenner has contributed to more exposure for the transgender community, which in turn can cause change similar to that of the of Columbia Chicago application. Trans students recognize her bravery, but also her underlying privilege.
“I think she’s unaware of what kids face daily because she has grown up in privilege. She’s been an olympic gold medalist. She’s rich, and she’s been able to pay for the surgeries, the hormones, the transition, the clothes. A lot of trans kids don’t have that ability, they don’t have that stability,” Bagdon said.
Wilds believes that a better spokesperson for the trans community would be Laverne Cox, who is a trans women, but also an actress on the popular Netflix series Orange is the New Black.
“Laverne Cox talks about the trans community at any chance that she gets, but I think with Caitlyn Jenner, coming from the Kardashian family, that’s more so what she’s asked about, and not how she’s helping the trans community. I don’t think Caitlyn’s doing much for us, except getting us mass media coverage,” Wilds said.
Some students in our community have realized the lack of awareness on a national level, and have decided to do what they can to bring attention to the trans community within our the school community. The Gay Straight Alliance (GSA), also works together to create a safe environment for the trans students. They work to develop activities and camaraderie amongst the student body. One of their most popular activities is the Transgender Chain of Remembrance. All students and staff are welcome to sign a link in the chain and they hang it across the commons or the library. It’s a visual reminder that all students and staff are welcome to be who they are at Groves. On a more personal level, GSA advisor Amy Voigt believes that respecting pronouns can be simple, yet powerful.
“Ask people about their pronouns and speak to them as you yourself would want to be spoken to. As our leaders often say, ‘Any pronoun used respectfully,’ is appropriate,” Voigt said.
Weinger believes the community can make the environment more friendly to these students by following the Groves House Rule of respecting others.
“ I just want to say, if someone changes the way that they label themselves, don’t question it; just go with it because it’s not really your business,” Weinger said. “Please respect people’s privacy, and don’t say that they changed who they are because they just realized something about themselves. It’s not that they’ve changed.”