{"id":984,"date":"2015-12-02T11:26:49","date_gmt":"2015-12-02T16:26:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/acutabove.wpengine.com\/?p=984"},"modified":"2015-12-03T15:32:18","modified_gmt":"2015-12-03T20:32:18","slug":"domestic-violence-the-unbelievably-true-story-of-a-local-domestic-violence-survivor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/acutabove.mipamsu.org\/?p=984","title":{"rendered":"Domestic Violence: The unbelievably true story of a local domestic violence survivor"},"content":{"rendered":"
Zac Sharp & Raegan Maisch<\/strong>
\nThe Squall
\nDexter HS
\n1st Place
\nDivision 3, News Writing
\nIn-Depth Feature<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

It was impossible for her to drown out the cries of her sisters, and the\u00a0sound of her dad\u2019s releasing temper.<\/p>\n

As she watched her two older sisters return from the garage, covered in bruises, she sat in fear knowing that it was her turn to be beaten.<\/p>\n

This has become a normal occurrence for an anonymous student at DHS, to whom we will refer to as \u201cJill\u201d.<\/p>\n

Jill has been experiencing domestic violence for as long as she can remember.<\/p>\n

As I grew up, my dad had anger management problems and difficulty handling alcohol,\u201d Jill said. \u201cHe would get drunk and would take my sisters and I into the garage one by one to beat us.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to safehorizon.org, more than 3 million children in the U.S witness domestic violence in their home each year, and survivors of domestic violence face high rates of depression, anxiety, and other emotional distress.<\/p>\n

Jill has been living with this emotional distress for almost her entire life.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe [Jill\u2019s father] has led me to deal with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts,\u201d Jill said. \u201cEverybody in my family has depression because of him, and everybody is suicidal because of him.\u201d<\/p>\n

The domestic violence that Jill faced didn\u2019t just affect her home life; it carried into her school work as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could never do my homework,\u201d Jill said. \u201cMy parents came home fighting everyday, so I was never able to do my assignments. I was always too depressed to do my homework, or even focus in class.\u201d<\/p>\n

Along with her school work, her school life in general was also greatly affected.<\/p>\n

\u201cI used to get made fun of for the clothes that I wore,\u201d Jill said. \u201cI always\u00a0had to wear long sleeves and long pants to cover up all of my bruises and cuts.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though she has faced this endless abuse throughout her entire life, Jill has never asked for help.<\/p>\n

\u201cI kind of just got used to it,\u201d Jill said. \u201cI would never tell on my dad. I love him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Not reporting abuse is very common for victims of domestic violence. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, domes-tic violence is one of the most underreported crimes. Only approximately one-quarter of all physical assaults against females are reported to the police because those affected are scared of hurting their abuser.<\/p>\n

Though Jill, nor any of her sisters have ever reported their father out of love, that does not stop them from living a life in fear.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have always just been so scared,\u201d Jill said. \u201cAfter I watched my dad choke my sister and break a mirror over her head, my view on him changed much more than I thought it would. I have never seen him the same way since.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jill\u2019s father, however, is apathetic to how his daughters view him.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe is the reason that I have depression, and he doesn\u2019t care,\u201d Jill said. \u201cI don\u2019t think people, including him, realize how badly [the abuse] hurts a child and affects them.\u201d<\/p>\n

The violence at Jill\u2019s home has decreased substantially in the past few years, and Jill and her sisters are now capable of fighting back when the abuse does occur.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe and my sisters know that we can stand up to him now and call the police,\u201d Jill said.<\/p>\n

They recognize the power that they can have against their father. However, like most victims, the domestic violence that Jill has experienced ever since she was a child is something that she believes will haunt her for the rest of her life.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s never going to go away,\u201d she said. \u201cIt has scarred me emotionally, mentally, and physically, and it is something that I will never recover from.\u201d<\/p>\n

Counselor\u2019s point of view<\/p>\n

Dexter High School counselor of 15 years, Gerry Holmes, has seen it all. She has dealt with cases ranging from school scheduling conflicts to personal student issues, and domestic violence is nothing unfamiliar to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe certainly have students here at DHS who have been abused by their parents\u201d Holmes said. \u201cI probably file cases like these about three times a year.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though this type of abuse is rare, when it does occur, the Dexter counselors have a strict policy that they must attend to.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf a student comes to us and says that they\u2019ve been beat up at home, we\u2019ll look for marks, ask questions, and more than likely call Child Protective Services to determine if an investigation needs to begin\u201d said Holmes.<\/p>\n

Child abuse accounts do happen on occasion, however, Holmes deals with many more cases of parents physically fighting each other in students\u2019 homes. She recognizes that though this type of domestic violence is much more common, as a school counselor she is very confined in ways she can help.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf their parents are fighting in a physical way, we can only give the students advice about calling the authorities or refer them to do things, we can\u2019t tell that person that they are required to do anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though Holmes believes that it is important for students to talk with professional counselors rather than just their friends, she still feels that as a school resource she is somewhat limited.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing we can do as professionals to stop a man and wife from these domestic situations\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

As a professional, Holmes is limited in what she can tell students in how to react to violence at home, but she does have many opinions about why students experience these situations and what to do.<\/p>\n

\u201cStudents often feel as if it is their fault in some way and usually feel very powerless\u201d said Holmes. \u201cI try to tell students that they can\u2019t be the sole reason for people fighting in the household. It has to go deeper than that.\u201d<\/p>\n

When dealing with domestic violence between parents, Holmes says that calling the police is one of the best things a student can do.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet to someone\u2019s house you can feel safe in.\u201d said Holmes. \u201cAnd don\u2019t be afraid to call the police.\u201d<\/p>\n

Holmes, along with many professionals who study domestic violence, have noticed a worsening trend in the last couple of years regarding abusive situations.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s too much domestic violence going on in society today\u201d Holmes said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere has even been an escalation in these situations in the past few years. A lot of times it\u2019s external or mental health issues that cause these situations, but there\u2019s so many stressors out there: economic situations, loss of jobs, depression in families, and more.\u201d
\nCounselor\u2019s point of view<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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